The Immortal Tailor
by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
Publication date: August 30th 2022
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Paranormal
From New York Times bestselling author Mimi Jean Pamfiloff comes a new immortal series filled with dark humor, angst, and a brooding hero who loves a good tweed: The Immortal Tailor.
THE IMMORTAL WORLD IS IN TROUBLE, AND THE GODS DEMAND . . . THEIR TAILOR COME TO THE RESCUE?
Long ago, Damien Greystone hung up his guns, knives, and rope for the quiet life of a tailor. Sure, his clients now include the likes of bloodthirsty vampires, a hair-obsessed Bigfoot, and fourteen insane deities, but at least Damien doesn’t have to kill anymore. And, sure, he’s been cursed to live alone for all eternity, but nobody’s life is perfect. Right?
Unfortunately, his monk-like existence is about to come to a screeching halt. The gods’ powers are on the fritz, and they’re demanding his help.
But when Damien starts investigating, he meets Sky Morales, a beautiful journalist who’s up to her ears in danger (and one very aggressive fairy). He has no choice but to dust off his weapons.
Can he protect her without getting too close? Because his “curse of solitude” doesn’t negotiate, and bad things will happen to Sky if he so much as feels a flutter of affection.
And as if that pressure weren’t enough, his precious store is being looked after by a love-sucking demon and a punk chick who has a knack for insulting everyone. Bigfoot isn’t pleased.
The sooner Damien can get this job done, the faster he can get back to his peaceful life. If only he weren’t enjoying getting his hands dirty again. Just like the good old days that got him in trouble.
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EXCERPT:
All the creatures in the story are constantly getting up in Damien’s grill! No boundaries! It drives him nuts. Here’s the best, and funniest example.
Pet crinkled her nose. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You were touching me while I slept!”
“Nope. I was in your closet playing with your underwear. They needed more holes.” She popped something in her mouth and chewed.
She was eating his boxers? “If it was not you, then who?” he growled.
Pet swiveled toward the foot of the bed. Her little eyes went wide, and then she spit out whatever she’d been eating. “Oh, Sky. That’s pretty dirty.” She snickered. “You’ll have to teach me that.”
Damien looked in the same direction. Nothing there. “Are you…are you speaking to Sky?” he asked Pet.
Pet nodded. “She said she just watched you jerk yourself off in your sleep. She thought it was hot.”
“Get. The. Fuck. Out. Both of you!” he yelled.
Pet shrugged. “Want me to leave Gorgonzolina?”
“Gorgon-what?”
“The demon you rescued.” Pet pointed to a lump under the covers at the bottom of his bed.
What the hell? Rule number one about love-sucking demons: don’t ever let them sleep in your bed.
Author Bio:
MIMI JEAN PAMFILOFF is a New York Times bestselling author who writes insane plot twists that will have you burning through the pages. Whether it’s Romance, Suspense/Thriller, or Fantasy, there are always big heroes to root for, smart and resourceful heroines, and a ton of heart pumping excitement in every story.
Mimi lives with her extremely patient husband (“Be right there! Just one more page, honey!”), two pirates-in-training (their boys), and their three spunky dragons (really, just very tiny dogs with big attitudes) Snowy, Mini, and Mack, in the vampire-unfriendly state of Arizona.
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G.M. Nair is a crazy person who should never be taken seriously. Despite possessing both a Bachelor’s and Master’s Degree in Aerospace Engineering, he has written comedy for the stage and screen, and is the author of the highly unlucrative Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire, which has received the 2022 Indie Fantasy Fund Award and is a Finalist in the 1st ever Self-Published Science-Fiction Competition.